How to survive negative, unmotivated colleagues

Every company has them. You know the type: complainers, excuse peddlers, and hermits. They've worked here forever, seen and done it all, watched bosses come and go. They follow routine and resist change. In essence, they're killing time and collecting a check.

In business, they're called dead-enders. They arrive late and leave early—and no one dares challenge them. Forget facts and logic: They crave innuendo and conspiracies. They gossip, bellyache, play games, and create drama

. As a result, they consume valuable time, energy, and morale.

Sadly, dead-enders are often clustered together, a clique feeding off one another's misery. Of course you didn't know this when you joined them. But your reality quickly becomes self-evident. When you step up, they view you as a threat: the person who creates more work or secretly acts as management's spy. But when you follow their lead, you're swept up in their rancor or entitlement.

 

Obviously, managers have the leverage to keep dead-enders in line. But what happens when you're on equal footing with them? What can you do when you're outnumbered and exposed? Consider these strategies:

 

Read ON >>

http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/How-to-survive-negative-unmotivated-colleagues/articleshow/5318391.cms

Improve Your Memory & Exercise Your Brain

Everyone can take steps to improve their memory, and with time and practice most people can gain the ability to memorize seemingly impossible amounts of information. Whether you want to win the World Memory Championships, ace your history test, or simply remember where you put your keys, this article can get you started. Scientists believe that exercising your brain can create a cognitive reserve that will help you stay sharp as you age.

1. Convince yourself that you do have a good memory that will improve.
Too many people get stuck here and convince themselves that their memory is bad, that they are just not good with names, that numbers just slip out of their minds for some reason. Erase those thoughts and vow to improve your memory. Commit yourself to the task and bask in your achievements as it is hard to keep motivated if you beat yourself down every time you make a little bit of progress.

2. Keep your brain active.
The brain is not a muscle, but regularly excersing the brain actually does keep it growing and spurs the development of new nerve connections that can help improve memory. By developing new mental skills especially complex ones such as learning a new language or learning to play a new musical instrument and challenging your brain with puzzles and games you can keep your brain active and improve its physiological functioning.

3. Exercise daily.
Regular aerobic exercise improves circulation and efficiency throughout the body, including in the brain, and can help ward off the memory loss that comes with aging. Exercise also makes you more alert and relaxed, and can thereby improve your memory uptake, allowing you to take better mental pictures.

4. Reduce stress.
Chronic stress, although it does not physically damage the brain, can make remembering much more difficult. Even temporary stresses can make it more difficult to effectively focus on concepts and observe things. Try to relax, regularly practice yoga or other stretching exercises, and see a doctor if you have severe chronic stress.

5. Eat well and eat right.
There are a lot of herbal supplements on the market that claim to improve memory, but none have yet been shown to be effective in clinical tests (although small studies have shown some promising results for ginkgo biloba and phosphatidylserine) . A healthy diet, however, contributes to a healthy brain, and foods containing antioxidants broccoli, blueberries, spinach, and berries, for example and Omega-3 fatty acids appear to promote healthy brain functioning. Feed your brain with such supplements as Thiamine, Vitamin E, Niacin and Vitamin B-6. Grazing, eating 5 or 6 small meals throughout the day instead of 3 large meals, also seems to improve mental functioning (including memory) by limiting dips in blood sugar, which may negatively affect the brain.

6. Take better pictures.
Often we forget things not because our memory is bad, but rather because our observational skills need work. One common situation where this occurs (and which almost everyone can relate to) is meeting new people. Often we don't really learn people's names at first because we aren't really concentrating on remembering them. You'll find that if you make a conscious effort to remember such things, you'll do much better. One way to train yourself to be more observant is to look at an unfamiliar photograph for a few seconds and then turn the photograph over and describe or write down as many details as you can about the photograph. Try closing your eyes and picturing the photo in your mind. Use a new photograph each time you try this exercise, and with regular practice you will find you're able to remember more details with even shorter glimpses of the photos.

7. Give yourself time to form a memory. Memories are very fragile in the short-term, and distractions can make you quickly forget something as simple as a phone number. The key to avoid losing memories before you can even form them is to be able to focus on the thing to be remembered for a while without thinking about other things, so when you're trying to remember something, avoid distractions and complicated tasks for a few minutes.

8. Create vivid, memorable images.
You remember information more easily if you can visualize it. If you want to associate a child with a book, try not to visualize the child reading the book that's too simple and forgettable. Instead, come up with something more jarring, something that sticks, like the book chasing the child, or the child eating the book. It's your mind, make the images as shocking and emotional as possible to keep the associations strong.

9. Repeat things you need to learn.
The more times you hear, see, or think about something, the more surely you'll remember it, right? It's a no-brainer. When you want to remember something, be it your new coworker's name or your best friend's birthday, repeat it, either out loud or silently. Try writing it down; think about it.

10. Group things you need to remember. Random lists of things (a shopping list, for example) can be especially difficult to remember. To make it easier, try categorizing the individual things from the list. If you can remember that, among other things, you wanted to buy four different kinds of vegetables, you'll find it easier to remember all four.

11. Organize your life.
Keep items that you frequently need, such as keys and eyeglasses, in the same place every time. Use an electronic organizer or daily planner to keep track of appointments, due dates for bills, and other tasks. Keep phone numbers and addresses in an address book or enter them into your computer or cell phone. Improved organization can help free up your powers of concentration so that you can remember less routine things. Even if being organized doesn't improve your memory, you'll receive a lot of the same benefits (i.e. you won't have to search for your keys anymore).

12. Try meditation.
Research now suggests that people who regularly practice mindfulness meditation are able to focus better and may have better memories. Mindfulness (also known as awareness or insight meditation) is the type commonly practiced in Western countries and is easy to learn. Studies at Massachusetts General Hospital show that regular meditation thickens the cerebral cortex in the brain by increasing the blood flow to that region. Some researchers believe this can enhance attention span, focus, and memory.

13. Sleep well.
The amount of sleep we get affects the brain's ability to recall recently learned information. Getting a good night's sleep a minimum of seven hours a night may improve your short-term memory and long-term relational memory, according to recent studies conducted at the Harvard Medical School.

14. Build your memorization arsenal. Learn pegs, memory palaces, and the Dominic System. These techniques form the foundation for mnemonic techniques, and will visibly improve your memory.

15. Venture out and learn from your mistakes.
Go ahead and take a stab at memorizing the first one hundred digits of pi, or, if you've done that already, the first one thousand. Memorize the monarchs of England through your memory palaces, or your grocery list through visualization. Through diligent effort you will eventually master the art of memorization.

The Challenge

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the water close to Japan has not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever. The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring the fish. If the return trip took more time, the fish were not fresh.

To solve this problem, fish companies installed freezers on their boats. They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen fish. And they did not like the taste of frozen fish.

The frozen fish brought a lower price. So, fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, they were tired, dull, and lost their fresh-fish taste. The fishing industry faced an impending crisis!

But today, they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan. How did they manage? To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks but with a small shark.

The fish are challenged and hence are constantly on the move. The challenge they face keeps them alive and fresh!

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired and dull? Basically in our lives, sharks are new challenges to keep us active. If you are steadily conquering challenges, you are happy. Your challenges keep you energized. Don't create success and revel in it in a state of inertia. You have the resources, skills and abilities to make a difference. Put a shark in your tank and see how far you can really go!

"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character" - Albert Einstein

5 Mind Traps About the Economy and How to Stop Them From Destroying Your Life

By Laurie Nadel, Ph.D. Co-creator of Chaos to Clarity: Take Charge of Your Thinking During Turbulent Times

In "Stress and America," the American Psychological Association reported that 80% of Americans feel stressed about the economic crisis; 60% feel angry about it; and 52% are having trouble sleeping.

It is easy to blame the news for the rise in stress levels. But let’s face it: even when the economy is booming, the news generally tends to be negative in tone.

Let’s look at it from another angle: If you keep banging your head against a wall until it bleeds, do you blame the wall?

Ruminating obsessively about the economy or letting your fears keep you awake at night is like blaming the wall for being made of brick when you are the one who keeps slamming your head against it.

What happens when you stop?

Whether it’s a brick wall or the economic crisis, your head stops hurting. (Aaah! Doesn’t that feel better?)

"That’s easy for you to say," you may be thinking. "But what, specifically, can I do to stop worrying?"

The first key is to identify the Mind Traps that keep you from thinking productively and finding solutions. Here are five of the most common Mind Traps:

Mind Trap #1: Watching "The Fear Channel."

Did you know that your mind is like a television? It is constantly projecting images onto the screen of your conscious mind. When you are sleeping, those streams of images are called dreams (or nightmares). When you are awake, they make up a subliminal cable channel that runs through your mind 24/7 whether you are aware of it or not.

Every time you watch the news on TV or your computer, or listen on the radio, or read a newspaper or blog about the impact of the economic crisis, your mind selects the images, words, and themes that have the greatest emotional impact. Within nanoseconds, you are watching large, bright colorful 'mind movies' about bankruptcy, home foreclosures, swindlers, and people who became so desperate after losing large sums of money that they committed suicide.

Your head begins to feel as if it’s glued to "The Fear Channel." Knowing this, are you surprised that you have anxiety about the economy?

Here’s the solution: Change the channel! Imagine you have a remote control in your hand and you can switch from watching those disaster movies to watching something that makes you feel good. How about your very own personal "Health and Fitness Channel?" Or your "Friends and Family" channel?

It’s your mind. It’s your TV. It’s your remote. Stop banging your head against the wall. It’s not the economy, stupid. You forgot to change the channel. So do it.

Mind Trap #2: Getting stuck in NeverAlways Land.

When I was a young girl, Peter Pan was one of my favorite stories. In one version, the actress Mary Martin played Peter Pan. She sang a song to describe her life:
"I know a place where dreams are born and life is never planned. It’s not in any chart. You must find it with your heart. NeverNever Land."

As the Bible says, there are times "to put away childish things." We outgrow nursery rhymes and fairy tales. We forget about Peter Pan and NeverNeverLand.

We become adults. We have families and careers. We take on responsibilities. We work hard to pay our bills. When a financial crisis like the present one escalates to becoming the number one issue on everyone's mind, our attention starts to wander. Without realizing it, we have drifted into the emotional swamplands of NeverAlways Land. We start to think, "I’ll never get out of debt," "I will always have financial problems," "We will never recover," etc.

The quicksand of NeverAlways Land starts sucking you down into a destructive spiral of negative thinking.

There is a solution: When you are feeling stuck, pay attention to the words you use when you are speaking out loud or in your head. Write down every time you use "Always" or "Never."

Draw a border around your list of "Always" and "Never" phrases. This 'territory' of the mind is NeverAlways Land. As you become more aware of when you use these generalizations, it will become easier for you to navigate away from NeverAlwaysLand. Try replacing "Never" and "Always" with some of the following words:
"Sometimes"
"Maybe"
"Perhaps"
"Yet"
"Not yet"
"Now"
"Possibly"

You will find that staying away from NeverAlways Land creates a different mental landscape, one that is wide open to the possibility that life can change for the better. Not now, perhaps…. but possibly.

Mind Trap #3: It’s not fair!

One of my first jobs was assistant editor for the Comic Book Association of America. It was my job to read the story boards and make sure they conformed to the comic book industry association code which went something like this: "In every comic book story, good must always triumph over evil and the villain must never be allowed to escape."

Boys and girls, I am sorry to have to break it to you but real life isn’t fair.

Nowhere, except in comic books, is it written that life comes without hardship.
Fair or unfair, that’s just the way it goes sometimes.

In some ways, Mind Trap #3 seems like the cruelest of them all. There is no rational answer for why honest, hard-working individuals will be prevented from retiring because of the stock market’s tanking. Nor can I assist you in understanding why the CEO’s of General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler have corporate jets at their disposal when thousands of auto workers are unemployed.

I do know that ruminating about the unfairness of it all will make it impossible for you to find that new job or scale down your expenses. What it will do is keep you stuck in the mentality of a victim, which you are not. You can choose to think differently.

"You probably spent more time learning how to drive a car than learning how to use your brain," said Richard Bandler, a founder of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). Whether you are out of work or afraid of losing your job or just plain worried, now is the best time to find your hidden strengths and make use of intelligences that you never knew you had.

It is possible that years from now, you will look back at this crisis and say, "It wasn’t fair but if I hadn’t gone through all that, I would not be who I am today. I would never know that I had certain strengths and abilities because I would not have been motivated to discover them."

Mind Trap#4: There is nothing I can do.

In the 1990’s, I spent 7 years teaching in corporate universities. One of my favorite homework assignments was asking students to bring into class an "impossible problem."

"What makes a problem impossible?" you may wonder.

You don’t believe you are smart enough to solve it. The solution is not within your control. Someone else has to give it the green light. The problem is framed in a yes/no format. This leaves no room for brainstorming new solutions. It implies that there is only one correct answer.

Mind Trap #4 is a virtual "bridge to nowhere." If you do not believe you are incapable of coming up with new ideas, you will stay stuck. If you frame the problem so that you do not have control over the choices that need to be made in order to solve the problem, guess what? You won’t be able to solve it. And if you frame the problem in a yes/no, black/white, either/or format, you are assuming there is only one correct answer. In complex, real-life situations, rarely is there one correct answer. Just as Mind Trap#4 has a few layers of complexity, so do real-life problems. Stay far away from Mind Trap#4 if you really want solutions.

Mind Trap #5: "Second pig" thinking.

In the story of the three little pigs, the big bad wolf threatened to huff and puff and blow down the house of the first little pig. He panicked and built a house of straw. The wolf came, as promised. You know what happened.

The second little pig saw what happened to the first pig and said, "Hmm…that was a flimsy house of straw." He threw together a house of sticks. The wolf came, huffed and puffed, blew the second little pig’s house down, and ate him.

The third little pig thought for awhile. "The problem isn’t the house. The wolf is the source of the problem."

He designed and built a house of bricks but he knew that would not stop the wolf. Eventually, the third little pig lured the wolf to come down the chimney where there was a pot of boiling water on the fire. The third little pig solved the problem by taking time to identify the source of the problem rather than just throwing solutions at it and hoping it would go away.

MIND TRAP #5 can be avoided quite easily. Take time to think about the source of a problem before you try to fix it. That way, it won’t come back.

Let Dr. Laurie Nadel and Ed Caldwell show you the best ways to stay away from debilitating Mind Traps About The Economy.

Source: http://www.mindpowernews.com/MindTraps.htm

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"

The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

52 Proven Stress Reducers

Interesting contribution by Mr. Rajendra Deshpande (Trainer)

1. Get up fifteen minutes earlier in the morning. The inevitable morning mishaps will be less stressful.

2. Prepare for the morning the evening before. Set the breakfast table, make lunches, put out the clothes you plan to wear, etc.

3. Don?t rely on your memory. Write down appointment times, when to pick up the laundry, when library books are due, etc. ("The palest ink is better than the most retentive memory." - Old Chinese Proverb)

4. Do nothing which, after being done, leads you to tell a lie.

5. Make duplicates of all keys. Bury a house key in a secret spot in the garden and carry a duplicate car key in your wallet, apart from your key ring.

6. Practice preventive maintenance. Your car, appliances, home, and relationships will be less likely to break down/fall apart "at the worst possible moment."

7. Be prepared to wait. A paperback can make a wait in a post office line almost pleasant.

8. Procrastination is stressful. Whatever you want to do tomorrow, do today; whatever you want to do today, do it now.

9. Plan ahead. Don?t let the gas tank get below one-quarter full; keep a well-stocked "emergency shelf" of home staples; don?t wait until you?re down to your last bus token or postage stamp to buy more; etc.

10. Don?t put up with something that doesn?t work right. If your alarm clock, wallet, shoe laces, windshield wipers ? whatever ? are a constant aggravation, get them fixed or get new ones.

11. Allow 15 minutes of extra time to get to appointments. Plan to arrive at an airport one hour before domestic departures.

12. Eliminate (or restrict) the amount of caffeine in your diet.

13. Always set up contingency plans, "just in case." ("If for some reason either of us is delayed, here?s what we?ll do?" kind of thing. Or, "If we get split up in the shopping center, here?s where we?ll meet.")

14. Relax your standards. The world will not end if the grass doesn?t get mowed this weekend.

15. Pollyanna-Power! For every one thing that goes wrong, there are probably 10 or 50 or 100 blessings. Count ?em!

16. Ask questions. Taking a few moments to repeat back directions, what someone expects of you, etc., can save hours. (The old "the hurrieder I go, the behinder I get, " idea.)

17. Say "No!" Saying "no" to extra projects, social activities, and invitations you know you don?t have the time or energy for takes practice, self-respect, and a belief that everyone, everyday, needs quiet time to relax and be alone.

18. Unplug your phone. Want to take a long bath, meditate, sleep, or read without interruption? Drum up the courage to temporarily disconnect. (The possibility of there being a terrible emergency in the next hour or so is almost nil.) Or use an answering machine.

19. Turn "needs" into preferences. Our basic physical needs translate into food, water, and keeping warm. Everything else is a preference. Don?t get attached to preferences.

20. Simplify, simplify, simplify?

21. Make friends with non-worriers. Nothing can get you into the habit of worrying faster than associating with chronic worrywarts.

22. Get up and stretch periodically if your job requires that you sit for extended periods.

23. Wear earplugs. If you need to find quiet at home, pop in some earplugs.

24. Get enough sleep. If necessary, use an alarm clock to remind you to go to bed.

25. Create order out of chaos. Organize your home and workspace so that you always know exactly where things are. Put things away where they belong and you won?t have to go through the stress of losing things.

26. When feeling stressed, most people tend to breathe in short, shallow breaths. When you breathe like this, stale air is not expelled, oxidation of the tissues is incomplete, and muscle tension frequently results. Check your breathing throughout the day, and before, during, and after high-pressure situations. If you find your stomach muscles are knotted and your breathing is shallow, relax all your muscles and take several deep, slow breaths. Note how, when you?re relaxed, both your abdomen and chest expand when you breathe.

27. Writing your thoughts and feelings down (in a journal, or on paper to be thrown away) can help you clarify things and can give you a renewed perspective.

28. Try the following yoga technique whenever you feel the need to relax. Inhale deeply through you nose to the count of eight. Then, with lips puckered, exhale very slowly through your mouth to the count of 16, or for as long as you can. Concentrate on the long sighing sound and feel the tension dissolve. Repeat 10 times.

29. Inoculate yourself against a feared event. Example: before speaking in public, take time to go over every part of the experience in your mind. Imagine what you?ll wear, what the audience will look like, how you will present your talk, what the questions will be and how you will answer them, etc. Visualize the experience the way you would have it be. You?ll likely find that when the time comes to make the actual presentation, it will be "old hat" and much of your anxiety will have fled.

30. When the stress of having to get a job done gets in the way of getting the job done, diversion ? a voluntary change in activity and/or environment ? may be just what you need.

31. Talk it out. Discussing your problems with a trusted friend can help clear your mind of confusion so you can concentrate on problem solving.

32. One of the most obvious ways to avoid unnecessary stress is to select an environment (work, home, leisure) which is in line with your personal needs and desires. If you hate desk jobs, don?t accept a job which requires that you sit at a desk all day. If you hate to talk politics, don?t associate with people who love to talk politics, etc.

33. Learn to live one day at a time.

34. Every day, do something you really enjoy.

35. Add an ounce of love to everything you do.

36. Take a hot bath or shower (or a cool one in summertime) to relieve tension.

37. Do something for somebody else.

38. Focus on understanding rather than on being understood; on loving rather than on being loved.

39. Do something that will improve your appearance. Looking better can help you feel better.

40. Schedule a realistic day. Avoid the tendency to schedule back-to-back appointments; allow time between appointments for a breathing spell.

41. Become more flexible. Some things are worth not doing perfectly and some issues are well to compromise upon.

42. Eliminate destructive self-talk: "I?m too old to?," "I?m too fat to?," etc.

43. Use your weekend time for a change of pace. If you work week is slow and patterned, make sure there is action and time for spontaneity built into your weekends. If your work week is fast-paced and full of people and deadlines, seek peace and solitude during your days off. Feel as if you aren?t accomplishing anything at work? Tackle a job on the weekend which you can finish to your satisfaction.

44. "Worry about the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves." That?s another way of saying: take care of the todays as best you can and the yesterdays and the tomorrows will take care of themselves.

45. Do one thing at a time. When you are with someone, be with that person and with no one or nothing else. When you are busy with a project, concentrate on doing that project and forget about everything else you have to do.

46. Allow yourself time ? everyday ? for privacy, quiet, and introspection.

47. If an especially unpleasant task faces you, do it early in the day and get it over with; then the rest of your day will be free of anxiety.

48. Learn to delegate responsibility to capable others.

49. Don?t forget to take a lunch break. Try to get away from your desk or work area in body and mind, even if it?s just for 15 or 20 minutes.

50. Forget about counting to 10. Count to 1,000 before doing something or saying anything that could make matters worse.

51. Have a forgiving view of events and people. Accept the fact that we live in an imperfect world.

52. Have an optimistic view of the world. Believe that most people are doing the best they can.

How To Build Rapport With People

What does rapport mean?

According to the dictionary, it's a "harmonious relationship or connection." In other words, you get on with someone, you hit it off. This is A Good Thing in many situations, so how do you go about achieving it?

Often it comes naturally (or not).you just find there are certain people you get on with and others you don't. But are there ways in which you can help the process along a bit?

I think there are some basic things you can do. And these may be particularly useful with Christmas coming up, when you may find yourself having to talk to people you don't know very well or haven't previously got on well with ( your family, for instance).

1. Smile and look friendly.

Seems obvious but we don't always remember. Just looking approachable goes a long way and a smile breaks the ice with new people. Of course, it depends on the situation. If you're trapped in a corner with some creep at the office party, this may not be the way to go. Forget rapport and just keep between him and the door (yes, I did assume the creep would be a man, I'm a man so I know about these things.)

2. Find out the person's name and use it (sparingly).

People like to hear their own name. But don't overdo it, just slip it into the conversation occasionally.

3. Ask the person questions to get him or her talking.

People love to talk about themselves and they like people who give them the opportunity to do so. Asking questions also gives you a chance to find out more about them, which leads on to point 4.

4. Find something you have in common with them.

People tend to like people who are like them. Find out some interest you have in common with the person you're talking to and focus on that. If you can't immediately find a common interest, stick with something they're interested in and carry on with the questioning - find out what it is about that activity that interests them. (Again, this doesn't apply to the creep at the party, you probably know what interests him and you don't want to focus on that).

5. Match their body language (broadly).

By this I mean, if they're sitting down, you sit down. If they're standing up, you stand up. Don't mirror their movements or cross your legs when they cross their legs, that's going too far. It's just that they'll probably feel more comfortable if you're in roughly the same position as they are ( but see previous comments re the creep ).

6. Reflect some of their language back to them.

If you use some of their own words back to them, it shows you've been listening and it suggests a common way of looking at things. Again, don't over do this. I remember, when I was little, one of the best ways to wind my brother up (any of them, I had 6 - and a sister) was to copy everything he said, even, " If you don't stop doing that, I'll hit you." The game usually stopped shortly after that, though.

With all of these points, I wouldn't try too hard. It can become artificial and manipulative. What you're aiming at is to put the person at ease, make them feel comfortable, and give you both the best chance to establish any rapport that's possible.